


eccedentesiast

by stardust1102



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Help, Other, Suicide Attempt, dont hate me, in this fic - Freeform, justin is suffering, this is a fic, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 00:02:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15376311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust1102/pseuds/stardust1102
Summary: someone who hide pain behind a smile





	eccedentesiast

justin was someone who smile a lot and would always cheer the members up if needed , maybe that’s why xukun will sometime praise him for being mature that he is .

 

but little to they known the pain he hide behind his smile. sometime the members and managers actually forgot that he is just 16 and that he is at a sensitive stage when they throw insensitive words toward him. like that one time he overheard the managers taking within themselves ‘ **justin is really annoying out of all the members’ ‘i know he is like a kid sometime and he can't even do his part well’ ‘well who told him to win idol producer , right?’** and with that the manager laughed but for justin he was trying his best to hold his tears that was threaten to come out.

 

sometime even the members as well , they sometime willunconsciously take their stress out on him by yelling at him and stuff . he get that its stressful but it still hurt and it hurt when nongnong , chengcheng and xiaogui ignore him when he wanted in with whatever conversation they had but to only but glare at and told that he is annoying , but he just smile and walk away to hide the hurt he is feeling.

 

sometime they will be fans that will throw mean words toward him like ‘ _you’re ugly’ ‘you shouldn't debut’ ‘you’re untalented’_ , sometime he will ignore those commentsbut sometime he just unable to ignore it and will sometime get wonder if it true and if he should give up on his dream to be a singer.

 

he wanted to talk about his feeling but he thought that other members probably have stress of their own so he decide to keep his feeling in his mind.

 

but one day its just too much ,they were all at nine percent ’s dorm and the members is preparing for movie night since they haven't done it for a long time. all of the feeling he been hiding is finally bursting out as he let the tears flow freely and the knife on his hand cut his wrist more. one by one bloods come flowing out and he didn't even feel pain but just empty.

 

 

deep down he know this is not right but the voice of his head encourage him to to that saying things such as _‘you’re annoying’ ‘you’re a burden’ ‘you should die’ ‘why are you living’_ .

 

he continue to do it until his stomach , wrist and thigh is cover with cuts and some form words like ugly , stupid and more insulting words. he felt relive that he close his eyes to get some rest but not before he heard the door open and a familiar voice shouting something that he was unable to heard because he was so sleepy and feel some hands carry him while saying don't sleep but its too hard not to sleep when the person carrying him was warm.

 

———

 

 

 **hey where justin?** xukun asked the members on the coach while he went to the kitchen to prepare some snack with zhangjing.

 

 **he’s at the toilet** yanjun said nonchalantly , **he been in there a long time** ziyi said while sitting up .

 

 **chengcheng , lining you two go check up on him okay** zhangjing said and zhengtin nodded while pushing chengcheng so he get up.

 

 **go check on him to see why the hell is he taking so long ,** xiaogui said with awhatever tone.

 

they all started the movies and sit comfortably on the coach and zhengtin and xukun on the floor before they heard chengcheng voice shouting **ge there’s an emergency**.

 

they all get up to see what the shouting about and when they went upstairs the feeling of uneasy started growing in each of them , they expected that justin had fell or something but what they didn't expect is to see their maknae in a pool of his own blood and a knife on one of his hand.

 

they immediately panic and their mind was all over the place before zhangjin started to get in control telling ziyi and yanjun to drive since time will be wasted if they wait for the ambulance and linong to grab justin .

 

yanjun and ziyi went to grab the car keys while linong carry justin in his arm while chengcheng and zhengting telling him to not go to sleep.

 

yanjun immediately started to drive when linong close the door while xiaogui , zhangjing and xukun get on to ziyi’s car to the hospital.

 

 

when they arrive at the hospital , justin was send to the emergency room so that the doctor can try to save his life while the members was anxiously waiting .

 

some of the members had actually started to cry uncontrollable while some trying to think why would justin , the ever cheery maknae did that.

 

 **why would justin did that?** zhengtin said in-between his sobs since he was closer to justin than anyone else since they train at korea together.

 

 **ge ,** chengcheng called out to the members while trying to wipe his tears before continuing **i found a letter that had state itfor us on the sink,** he said holding a envelope with the word written _to nine percent members_

 

the members stared at the envelope before yanjun grab it from chengcheng hand and open the envelope and read it.

 

_to all my beloved gege ,_

 

_you all must be wondering why the ever so cheerful justin did this right?_

 

 

_well some of the cheerful was fake , i have been hurt for a while now and i’m not writing this to make you guys feel guilty or anything but just to tell u guys what i have been hiding these past few months._

 

_it hurt ge , it hurt when you guys ignore me , i just want to hang out with you guys but sometime you guys ignore me and i always cover that with a smile thinking that you guys probably just want to be alone or stuff._

 

_also guys i’m 16 i have been trying hard on the dance . i know i made mistake but everyone make mistake right like what do you guys expected me to do , master all the dance immediately ? i felt pressure to the point i have to resisted the urge to not let my head explode . with all of the expectation from the media , i wish that you guys can comforted me not make me feel bad but that’s alright because you guys have stress as well right?_

 

_im tired so i decided to end everything… sorry and i love you guys_

 

_from, justin huang_

 

_p.s. thank you zhangjing for remembering me when nobody did._

 

 

after reading the letter , the members had thought back their action toward justin and true they had been taking advantage of the cheerful personality of justin thinking he get over it that they had forgotten that justin is just a 16 years old boy.

 

they felt so guilty and lost in their thought that they didn't notice the doctor had come out from the room until they the doctor said an excuse me that all of them jumped back to reality.

 

 **so how is justin**? zhengtin asked the doctor.

 

 **he lost a lot of blood but we still manage to save his life and now we had patch up all his wound and he is doing blood transfusion to make up for his lost of blood.** the doctor said and they breath of relive that justin is still alive.

 

 **before you guys go inside , i want to say that he need to hospitalise to be put on a suicide watch so i hope ones of you can fill up the form** the doctor stopped them before they enter the room to check on justin and the manager who had just came said that he will be the one filling the form and told the members to go check him.

 

when they went inside justin was laying there awake but his eyes was blank so as his expression. he move his eyes to see the members come inside of his room one by one but say nothing.

 

linong pulled justin into a gentle hug crying while saying how he is relive that he is still alive and how sorry he was toward his behaviour . slowly the members one by one started to cry saying they were sorry and stuff and also hug him.

 

 

————-

 

 **why are you guys crying?** justin asked them still having the blank expression .

 

 **because we hurt you , we didn't concern about your well being. and we’re sorry for everything** xukun said looking at him with the red eyes that prove he just finish crying.

 

 **but its not your fault. i’m the one being a burden and useless and—** justin said while looking at all of them before being cut off by zhengtin saying **you’re not a burden and you are not useless . you are our maknae and nothing is your fault, its us for not caring enough of you.**

 

justin look at him when he said that and tears begin to roll of his face and he said he was sorry to all his members who only look at him and said the their are glad that he is okay. they end up having a group hug and in a long time justin genuinelyfelt that he is going to be okay.

 

after that , he was hospitalise for a couple of days so that he can be put on a suicide watch. at first he was extremely against it and even more when he saw the room being like a prison with the bar over all of the window but the members reassure him that they will come visit him everyday to distract him from it.

 

justin’s parent come to visit once or twice saying that the have a business trip to attend to and the management decide to keep a secret about justin condition.

 

in those few days , the members come to check on him everyday and sometime rotate to fit their schedule and so justin wont be lonely and sometime nex7 members will come to visit him and even oner who was busy with their works but decide to come a check up on him.

 

he is thankful toward them but he is felt bad for them to come even their busy but they reassure him that its okay and that he should focus on getting better.

 

after two weeks in the hospital , he is finally able to return to the dorm. when he step in the dorm he was surprise to see all of the members and some from people from idol producer was there.

 

they had planned to make a party for justin to show that they are sorry and how happy they are that he is okay.

 

justin feel truly happy that they throw a party for him and on that night he was ate a lot of food and a lot of hug and pat on the head from his ge . needless to say he was happy with how things turn out and glad that he got a chance to live again.


End file.
